Nothing prepares you for the loss of your child

In October of 2023,

our entire family had a respiratory virus. On October 24, 2023, Nicholas, who was almost four months old, was rushed to the hospital after Sam saw him have a seizure and called 911. We learned that Nicholas had caught the viral infection, and while his young immune system was busy fighting that, a common bacteria called streptococcus pneumoniae (which lives harmlessly in most people) piggybacked on the viral infection.

Babies, with their developing immune systems, are at higher risk for complications from streptococcus pneumoniae. This bacterial infection evolved into meningitis, an inflammation in the brain. For the next six days, the incredible team at Cincinnati Children’s Pediatric Intensive Care Unit tirelessly battled through Nicholas’s continued seizures, respiratory failure, extensive brain damage, a blood clot, and a stroke. We will never forget how devotedly Cincinnati Children’s worked to save our son. Their staff, from the doctors and nurses to their Child Life team (who helped us create irreplaceable mementos before he passed) helped prepare us for the hardest moments.

But Nicholas ultimately passed away from complications of bacterial meningitis on October 30, 2023.

It was, and is, an unfathomable loss.

His older brother Daniel was just three and a half years old. Following Nicholas’ death, we were put in the devastating position of having to explain to Daniel that his brother died. This is something young children continue to ask about over and over, as they try to understand how such a thing is possible.

Friends wanted to host a fundraiser to help cover anticipated medical and funeral expenses. We were fortunate to have leftover funds after expenses, and decided to donate all funds raised to two organizations to honor our son: Fernside, and Cincinnati Children’s.

Fernside Center for Grieving Children

Since Nicholas’ passing, Daniel has received group grief services at a local nonprofit in Cincinnati called Fernside Center for Grieving Children, the nation’s second oldest children’s grief center. Many resources exist for grieving adults, but Fernside is focused on children who have lost a loved one. They have been a beacon of hope and healing for us as a family, and have been essential in helping us guide Daniel through the loss of his brother. Fernside provides all services free of charge with the help of generous donors. As a family, we attend evening group sessions there twice a month. Additionally, we have attended their art series and summer camp. 

Cincinnati Children’s Hospital

We were introduced to books that serve as grief resources for children. After reading, we realized that those books would have helped us immediately in the hospital, and in the first hours, days, and weeks following Nicholas’ passing, when Daniel kept asking when Nicholas was coming home. We worked with Cincinnati Children’s to decide on appropriate titles, and were given approval to donate grief books to the hospital. 

Our impact

In June 2024, we raised over $4,000 at our first annual Spaghetti Dinner memorial fundraiser held in Cincinnati. We were able to donate over $2,000 to Fernside. We used the remaining $2,000 to purchase copies of The Invisible String, a grief book about still being connected to others even if they are not physically present. We donated them to Cincinnati Children’s, who now distributes these books to families at the hospital who experience the loss of a child. We were able to donate 360 books! 

In 2025, we hosted two fundraisers. We held our second annual Spaghetti Dinner, as well as a Picnic at the Farm event at Niederman Family Farm, both located in Cincinnati. We were able to donate over $1,700 to Fernside. We were able to purchase 396 copies of The Invisible String that were again donated to Cincinnati Children’s. 

Also in 2025, the Nicholas Villari Moving Mountains Memorial Foundation was approved as an official 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. 

Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to honor our son and ”move mountains” in his memory by helping other families who experience such a tragedy.

Sincerely,

The Villari Family (Alex, Sam, Daniel, Nicholas, and now, baby sister Evelyn)

Since Nicholas’ passing,

family and friends have been immensely supportive of our initiative to honor him and perform good works in his memory.

One notable honor went to Sam’s dad, Greg Stoecklin, who channeled one of his hobbies into a way to raise funds for the Nicholas Villari Moving Mountains Memorial Foundation.

Watch this YouTube video honoring him as Remento’s 2025 Grandparent of the Year to learn more.